There's an in-joke between some friends and I that those of us who like Keith are only interested in him because he's a friend of Ringo Starr. The joke started getting a bit too silly when the friends that didn't particularly like Keith said he looked like he needed a bath. But I got my revenge in an illustrated instructions booklet which I e-mailed to them, and which you can see here:


Take one dirty Keith

Drag to the bathroom (No Keith, I mean me dragging you, not you in drag. Jeez! Nice outfit though, can I borrow it later?)

Drench thoroughly (oooooh, I'm going to enjoy this!)

Add soap and wash all over...
No! You're not getting a picture of this!
That's for me to... wash and you to...
think about if you're tht kind of a girl...
which frankly I think you are. ;-p

Towel dry

Brush, comb, shave and polish off for the shine... (Pete love, have you got a brush?! What's that in your union flag jacket? Aha! Knew you'd have a brush somewhere. I'll borrow that eyeliner and hairspray a bit later too if that's OK. Ta.)

Finally, wrap in clean white blankets and present "friend of Ringo" for inspection by the dirt police. (Note the attention Senti paid to the clean fingernails and freshly washed ruffly hair. Even combed his eyelashes.)

Um, Deb, you do realise we'll have to climb out from underneath this blanket before they start inspecting him don't you? No don't do that, we'll have to bath him again if you do that. Oh alright then. ;-D

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